The Phillimore Firecracker
The Phillimore Firecracker is an old friend, and we speak regularly about everything and nothing. Sometimes, though, she tells me a shade too many intimacies about her marriage: in particular the parties she goes to with her husband’s many partners, and that these are S&M events. It crosses my mind that we may be talking at cross purposes but as I don’t want to seem too much of an innocent from the backwoods, I just change the subject as fast as possible before she confesses any more revealing information.
I tell her about Mr Big and The Reason. She does not live in the Wood and I don’t expect her to know about either of them. But to my surprise she starts to call The Reason, “Lover Boy”. They have clearly met and, reading between the lines, I gather that he has even visited her home. Call me old-fashioned, but this relationship between the Phillimore Firecracker and The Reason (aka Lover Boy) seems to me to be distinctly inappropriate, as The Reason is the age of the Phillimore Firecracker’s livvely daughter. Again I wonder whether we are talking at cross purposes. Or is the Phillimore Firecracker’s lifestyle so much racier than mine? Let’s see how racy she is on a bike, I think to myself. Not that our 300km cycle is a race, or that I am at all competitive.
Will it all become clear during our cycling adventure?
The only concern I have about sharing a bed with the Phillimore Firecracker, and my meals, (which I will have to do if I don’t reach my £10,000 target) is that two of us in a single berth, on the channel crossing from Harwich to the Hook in Holland, may be a bit of a squash.
The Phillimore Firecracker is an old friend, and we speak regularly about everything and nothing. Sometimes, though, she tells me a shade too many intimacies about her marriage: in particular the parties she goes to with her husband’s many partners, and that these are S&M events. It crosses my mind that we may be talking at cross purposes but as I don’t want to seem too much of an innocent from the backwoods, I just change the subject as fast as possible before she confesses any more revealing information.
I tell her about Mr Big and The Reason. She does not live in the Wood and I don’t expect her to know about either of them. But to my surprise she starts to call The Reason, “Lover Boy”. They have clearly met and, reading between the lines, I gather that he has even visited her home. Call me old-fashioned, but this relationship between the Phillimore Firecracker and The Reason (aka Lover Boy) seems to me to be distinctly inappropriate, as The Reason is the age of the Phillimore Firecracker’s livvely daughter. Again I wonder whether we are talking at cross purposes. Or is the Phillimore Firecracker’s lifestyle so much racier than mine? Let’s see how racy she is on a bike, I think to myself. Not that our 300km cycle is a race, or that I am at all competitive.
Will it all become clear during our cycling adventure?
The only concern I have about sharing a bed with the Phillimore Firecracker, and my meals, (which I will have to do if I don’t reach my £10,000 target) is that two of us in a single berth, on the channel crossing from Harwich to the Hook in Holland, may be a bit of a squash.
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